Friday, February 17, 2012

Mama Don't Swim In Yukky Water

Early one bright, summer morning I watched from the kitchen window as Edward pulled out the canoe and proceeded to tug and drag and finally get it into the pond and start rowing around.  Now this pond was very small and the water was not exactly pleasant but if hubby wanted to row around I decided I would fix him a light breakfast and go outside to watch him while the little ones were still sleeping.  Not bothering to change into some more "outdoorsy" clothes I threw my terry cloth robe over my see-through nightie (this was back when what you could see through was, well much less and a whole lot better than it is now) and headed out the door.

Hubby was so proud of the fact that his 135 pound body had managed to get the 400 pound canoe into the water that he wanted to take me out for a spin.  He rowed over to the edge, took his breakfast, and instructed me on the proper way to enter a boat.  I failed the course.   I had just managed to slide my foot over the side when my foot slipped on the morning dew and I fell into the canoe head first.  Not to be outdone in the "how not to do it" department, hubby jumped up to help me and Eli the dog jumped in - not to help but to get the bacon and egg sandwich now laying unguarded on the floor of the canoe. 

Tragedies happen on days like this.  People are found years later at the bottom of dried out farm ponds.  Good dogs like Lassie get people to follow them with their "Timmy's in the well" whine.  Not today.  Instinct kicked in and just as the canoe flipped over, papa went one way and mama went the other - Eli was on his own.  Edward managed to contain the canoe and keep it from smashing us on the head.  My terry cloth robe pulled me all the way to the bottom - remember it's yukky water and mama don't swim in yukky water  - so I yanked that robe off and fought all the way to the top.  Okay, so I just stood up but it is so much more dramatic to say I had to fight my way out than to admit I couldn't, and still can't, swim a lick.  I lost my shoes, my dishes, the sandwich, an entire glass of expensive orange juice, and the best cup of coffee ever made. 

It was not a pretty picture as we drug the canoe out of the water and made our way back to the house soaking wet.  It was not until I realized hubby's clothes were sticking to him that I remember my see-through nightie.

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